On the Third Day of Christmas, Chris Said to Me: STOP Sending Garbage Emails! 📢
What qualifies as garbage email communications, you ask? Oh, I’m so glad you did. Let’s unwrap this together 🎁:
1. Generic or Misleading Subject Lines
Listen, Barry, I know for a fact I haven’t signed up for your “Build Your Own Teddy Bear” seminar. Sure, the idea sounds cute, but let’s be real: sending an email with the subject line “You’re booked in to create a teddy!” just to boost click rates? That’s a one-way ticket to my spam folder. This strategy belongs in the early 2000s, and it should stay there, gathering dust like my Tamagotchi.
2. How Did You Get My Data?
We’ve been in the era of consent-based marketing for a while now, yet here we are, still battling shady cold-email tactics. AI and automation seem to have amplified the noise. If I ask where you got my data and your response is radio silence, we have a problem. And no, pretending we have a pre-existing relationship when we don’t? That’s not clever, it’s creepy. Like Gregg Wallace’s ‘apology’
3. Multiple Calls to Action (CTAs)
Some rookie marketers will tell you to pack in as many CTAs as you can, “just in case.” Don’t fall for it. Instead, stay laser-focused on what you want the recipient to do. One clear, compelling CTA is worth more than a dozen vague, competing ones.
4. Missing or Broken Links
You’ve got me excited about your offer, your product, your idea, only for the link to lead to a dead end. Seriously? I don’t care how clever your custom 404 page is; it’s not going to make up for the frustration of not getting where I need to go. Test your links, people.
5. Poorly Written, Unfocused Content
Remember the days of the generic “newsletter”? Sure, they were boring, but at least they were consistent. These days, with storytelling and brand identity being everything, you can’t afford to write aimlessly. Think about your audience before you type a single word. Better yet, hire a freelance copywriter who can bring your vision to life.
🎁 Want to make 2025 your year? Start by following our Christmas advice. Because nothing says growth like being a little less annoying.
Let’s Recap:
Day 1: Audio & Visual Communications Are Here to Sleigh. DO it.
Day 2: Be Authentic in Your Brand Voice. DON’T Fake It.
Day 3: Stop Sending Garbage Emails. STOP Being Annoying.
Jingle, jingle. Now, go forth and send smarter emails. 🎄📧
Chris Barnard has spent over 15 years delivering exceptional revenue growth for ambitious businesses in the UK, Europe and North America through his marketing technology business, FeedbackFans.com and as an independent business consultant.
By his mid-20’s he was running digital departments for FTSE100 companies in London, eventually leading to a very successful period in digital customer acquisiton for a well-known brand in his early 30’s generating nine-figure revenues with seven-figure budgets. He now puts his experience, knowledge and ideas into good use, supporting challenger insurgent brands and forward thinking businesses to outperform in their sectors, whilst disrupting and improving the marketing, technology and development sectors.
Feedback Fans provides a unique next-generation managed technology and marketing platform that delivers outstanding and out-sized results for businesses in sectors such as finance, retail, leisure, and professional services.
With our unparalleled expertise in creating cutting-edge solutions and environments, we empower our clients and users to thrive and outperform in the digital age.
Chris Barnard is Managing Director of FeedbackFans.com and producer of the Bear Business Vodcast
